“This is Rescue” Commentary
Shadows
I’ve heard rumors there is more, that if we venture to the source, it will phantom every meager thing to which our hearts are sworn. And they say, “shelter’s in the fold” and, ”there’s risk in chasing after truth,” but those souls are cynics if they claim that we have much to lose. This is all just sound and fury, product and sum of faulty yearning. The Harlot life, i hold closely, a senseless refrain of lust and longing. And I have only ever known the shadows and reflections, the temporal and contingent. If this isn’t love, it’s the closest thing that I have ever known. Am I to let go?
Even if it’s false, at least it feels like hope. Could love be more than feeling
And second-hand romance I salvage from hearts as dark and damaged…? Could it be someone who gave up everything to show that I am fallen but worth the scars it took to prove that this is love? This is all I’ll ever need.
This is Love. Oh, This is Love.
Notes –
Aaron -This song was the second brand new song we wrote after Travis joined the band in the fall. I always thought of it as being similar in structure and sound to The Antidote, short, catchy, riffy, and thick. Travis had already written the three-chord-riff in the beginning and the end as well as the long reverby riff build at the end. I had already written the hammer on riff that I play at the very end and that was actually the first part we wrote. Once Jesse busted out the beat for that part we were all like “Well, that’s the end of the song”. The rest of the song kinda flowed out of that. We quite often begin with the end of the song; we write the most massive intense thing we can and then find a way to get to it, like a maze. I wrote the piano part, Jesse and Jeremiah timed out the wash-out in the middle, and we all just kept tweaking it till it felt finished.
Travis- This song has always been one of my favorite ones to play live because it gives me a chance to go a little nuts and get lost in the music. We’ve always used it as a show opener and even called it that before there was a name for it. The beginning and ending riff was one that I came up with after deciding to part ways with the previous band I was in before My Epic asked me to join. It really just kind of flowed out on the guitar just as I heard it in my head. Rarely does that happen for me. I wanted it to flow gracefully and be in a major scale. Once I showed it to the guys, Aaron immediately took to it and came up with some really sweet pull offs and riffs that took what I had to the next level. Everyone just took what I gave them and ran with it and the finished product couldn’t have turned out any better, even if we tried.
Jesse- Well this song was kinda spurred on, as I remember it, from the beginning three-chord-riff Travis wrote. Travis said he wanted drums to be complex and progressive at the begging and we went from there. Aaron came up with a bunch of lines, and I just laid the drums to match. I definitely think it is the most radio friendly song on the new album, you can really see a wide spectrum of our different influences throughout the song. My roommate refers to it as the “make-out song”, because of the piano and three part vocals(“This Is Love”). He swears he saw a couple making out during it at a show but he is a filthy liar so who knows? But speaking of the three part vocals, that was a new element we embraced whole-heartedly when Travis joined…I like it!
Jeremiah- I think we try to make every song a good bit different from all the others, which is why we have such varying lengths of songs. While I really love long builds and almost jam-like sessions in the middle of songs, I appreciate the beauty of a song that just hits you right from the beginning, it doesn’t wait around, it simply gets to the point and ends, simple and clean. I love the way this songs fits so well to the lyrical content. We did not want to beat around the bush with this song, and I don’t believe we did.
Lyrical Notes –
This song was actually one that began lyrically in the spring of 2005. I was going to be speaking to a youth group in Greenville South Carolina and I was thinking a lot about what it means when we say “God loves you”. That term is repeated over and over again by the lips of the average church-goer but what does it mean for the rest of us. God loves me? What a weird thought. Love is a word that carries such different connotations for so many different people. It is an action and thus we all base our understanding of it on our experiences with it. What does love mean for the recently heartbroken, the unrequited lover, the abused child, or the betrayed friend? When these people hear that “God loves you” it isn’t exactly the huge selling point so many Christians believe it to be. Some think, “ I have experienced love and I have no desire to be hurt by it again”. But the important thing I wanted to portray with this song is that God’s love is not comparable to man’s love. God’s love is perfect, unfailing, and unconditional. We were not created to exist apart from it and without it man spends his life searching for the elusive joy that he has romanticized into his youth. For many people, they get married, have kids, and then assume this must be it. But God’s love for us is so much more expansive. We cannot expect to find the love we need in people just as messed up as we are. The title is an allusion to Plato’s allegory of the cave (click here for more info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plato%27s_allegory_of_the_cave ). The basic point of the song is that we have only experienced the shadows of God’s love through the lives of others and that it cannot even compare to the way God love’s us.
…And We Were So Close to Perfection
Don’t they see the sky burning and claiming every hope? Can’t they feel the earth breaking and scattering the fold? This act surely is past the scope of clemency and any shroud of mystery. Lets return now; say the word and we’ll retreat to better scenes. Coastlines and mountainsides, perfection dripping from the seams. How could miracles reveal the mysteries and end in tragedy? Don’t let them boast. They’ll claim the victory if you give up the ghost. I stand awaiting the call for the rescue. One word and empires fall. You’re calculating the point for your next move, but this is taking too long. Has courage fled for newer brides, and traded truth for alibis, that I alone of dozen strong should witness your demise? Before your mothers eyes,
whisper “relief.” I know you have the power! Is this the way it’s supposed to be, the shepherd slain by all the sheep? They’re cursing your name. You’re fading away. When will the empire fall? They spit in your face. It’s more than I can take. Is this the end of it all? Don’t touch him; this man has done nothing wrong.
Notes:
Aaron – This song really went through three distinct phases. This was actually the last song we finished writing before we went into the studio to record our first demo in 2005. Jesse and I wanted to record it right then but as usual Jeremiah talked some sense into us and the song really developed further. When Travis Joined he wrote his own parts to the song, the actual structure was never changed but when we went back to a 4–piece I think the song really got stronger as we eliminated the fat and choose the best of what Matt and Travis had previously played. The third one came after we had finished recording all the instruments and went in to lay the vocals. Andrew, our producer, thought my melody on the chorus was anticlimactic and that it was too cliché for our sound. He begged us not to give up on it now after we had worked so hard on the rest of the album and this song in particular. We wrestled with it and it was actually the last thing we worked on in studio together. Travis immediately had the idea for the high vocals and we actually laid those first. Andrew came up with the basic melody for the first chorus, which I modified a bit, and Jesse had the idea and melody for the sort of gang vocal part. The different melody on the second chorus was something that kind of came out of thin air, I just thought we should do something a little different and what you hear is what came out. I worked hard to finish the lyrics in studio but since the rest of the song was already written it didn’t take too long. That being said this song is the reason we had to spend an extra day in studio but I think it was well worth it. The ending is basically our version of a breakdown in three-four, let’s see all the hardcore kids two-step in waltz. Thanks also to Kent for begging us to lengthen the build near the end, good call. This song was a real team effort.
Travis- This song was already pieced together before I joined the band and out of all the songs on the album, this was the one that I thought was changed the least by me. However, the more we played it in practice, the more I fell in love with it. Every time Aaron sings the last lyrics of the song, it almost always brings me to tears because I can hear the agony that Jesus’ followers felt at his last few hours. I tried to tastefully add parts that would intertwine with the rest of the music and add detail to what was already there. I have to say, there is nothing that I’ve played musically that has more heart and intensity than the ¾ waltz at the end of the song. The ending swell was an idea that I had and a “Travis Signature” as Aaron would say. As the song progresses in intensity and crescendos, I wanted to have something subtle that would reflect on what is happening at that moment, much like when you see an intense battle scene in a movie and everything slows down and becomes silent. This song shows My Epic at our potential and gives a glimpse into our hearts as believers, as musicians, and as friends.
Jesse- This song has been a process over the last year. We originally wrote it with Matt, and the first time we played it we sucked it up bad!!! But this song has seen a lot of growth, and when Matt left we were left with the dilemma of three guitar parts and two guitars. So then we went back to work dropping a line here, add a new one there, and of course, some new vocals. It even saw some last minute changes in studio, which I absolutely fell in love with. I really like the way this one turned out; I feel this song just gets better with age.
Jeremiah- This song was a particularly encouraging song to me. My Epic has never written a song I have been disappointed in by any means, but naturally, some songs will impact you differently than others. The direction this went right after we had written “The Antidote” and “Wise as Serpents” is exactly where I was hoping it would go. The flow of the song is easy to get lost in, but in a good way. When we play its easy to go to another place and almost forget that I am even playing, which is what I like every song to do. One thing I believe is that anyone who ever sees us live will leave knowing that our music is truly worship for us and playing live is one of the best times of worship we can experience, and this song is almost like my poster child worship song. This may fit into the lyrical content part, but in the end when Aaron sings “don’t touch him”, it is one of the most intense parts for me and I just lose it inside. I have to admit, at first, I was not too keen on the three-four part in the end, but now I would die to keep it in, it is the perfect release of everything built up inside of me throughout the whole song, I just hope others could have the same experience.
Lyrical Notes:
The concept for this song was another one that hit me almost immediately after we had finished writing the song structurally. The sound-scape just screamed intensity to me and I imagined John, the only disciple to watch Christ die, standing at the cross remembering all that had led to this event and not being able to understand what was going on. I wanted there to be a brokenness and desperation in his words as he cannot fathom how this man who had displayed such great power could allow it to end this way. The disciples never really understood all that Jesus had told them concerning his death and resurrection until after the fact and often when I read John’s account of the crucifixion I see him trying to convey how earth shattering it must have been. “All I have invested myself in is crashing down”. Most of us have experienced this in some other facet of our lives but the beauty of the cross is that this was far from the end of the story.
The Common Curse
The fragile details from which I am made are falling apart and starting to fade, and this is the curse I’ll carry from birth till the grave. From one came all. Democracy of the dead, chained to the consequence of lives we never lived. But we hold blame. Inherit, but we as well choose to initiate, and this is the price of our valued volition: enslavement to vices and vexed by the intrinsic, no measure of man with the greatest precision is yet to conquer. This is the curse I fight when I’m awake but treasure in my dreams. Why is the architect now becoming part of the structure and how could this be any solution when they’re resisting every attempt at repair? They’re killing him. This is Rescue, this is Absolution, this is Mercy, this is our Redemption.
Notes:
Aaron - This song is actually like the fifth evolution of the very first thing we had written as My Epic. The first four sections, including the first heavier section, is actually verbatim what came out of the first few writing sessions between Matt, Jesse, and I. It is also the same parts we auditioned Jeremiah on, before we even had a name, Old School. We wrestled and wrestled with it and avoided playing it because it never felt finished until Travis joined. Travis was fiddling with a reverse delay concept and Jesse and I had been listening to a lot of the newer Hillsong United Live album and really wanted the song to end with a really passionate but simple worshipy chant. Though many of you may have never experienced “worship” per se there is still something beautiful about a lot of people all directing their complete intense devotion towards one thing at the same time. For a long time we were singing “hallelujah’s” over the ending as I wrestled over a list of concepts and words to accurately finalize this song. Our friend Kent came to practice one day and helped with the phrasing a bit and once I wrote the line “This is Rescue” I knew it was going to be a significant statement for us as a band. It was actually the first and only idea we ever had for the title of our e.p. This song I think suffered the most when Matt left and we went back to a four piece but eventually we worked out the kinks. This is one of our favorites to play live because the ending always catches people off-guard and turns the smokiest of bars into sacred ground, if only for a few moments. No matter what it is always a very genuine and vulnerable moment for us as a band and we hope it conveys our hearts. We know that if every other piece of equipment undergoes a technical snafu that this part will still sound the way we intend. There is something indescribable about losing yourself in the moment and signing your lungs out.
Travis- - I think it’s hard for me to put down in words a note about this song that would do it justice. This was the only song out of all the ones on the CD that already had a name before I joined the band. When we started practicing in August of last year, I was trying to be creative and add some stuff to this song that would enhance what was already there, yet still keep it structured and musically provoking. When writing, we struggled with the reverse delay riff for fear of not being able to pull it off live the way I had originally wrote it. With a few modifications, it turned out the way you hear it in the finished product. I think we couldn’t be happier with the way the lyrics turned out. Aaron has told me before that he always loves hearing me get lost in the song when he can hear me singing from the top of my lungs during the “this is the curse…” line, and yes, I love it.
Jesse- As Aaron said, this song is Old School. It was the first thing Aaron, Matt, and I worked on after Shaddai broke up. The song you hear today is quite different then its original emersion. We actually played the original version at our first show with Forever Changed, along with the two songs off our first demo. We knew then that it wasn’t on par with the other stuff we were writing, so we decided not to record it, and then it seemed to get lost in all the new songs we were cranking out. When Travis joined he heard us jamming on parts of it, and asked what it was. So we played it for him, and revived it. We totally dissected the song adding new parts and removing anything we didn’t love. Again came the triple vocals, and this time even Jeremiah decided to join in. The first time we played the chant part at the end all of us just sat there for a minute so caught up in worship. This part still pricks my heart to this day, every time we play it the hair on my neck stands up. It just communicates so well the purpose and drive of every member of this band, and at that moment we all leave our separate entities and become one voice pouring ourselves out before our Creator.
Jeremiah- Wow, it is hard to believe how long this song has been around really. I remember how scared I was thinking “I can’t keep up with these guys” when they asked me to come start trying stuff out. I was in a band before My Epic, a high school band that stretched ourselves as far as to the point of three or four-chord progressions, and that’s it. I had no clue anything about the bass when I started in this band. I was talking to Aaron the other night and telling him how being in this band has grown my faith in an incredible way, mainly because of the incredible story of how we came together, but also because I can honestly say there is no way my talent has helped the band whatsoever, it could only be God that could have caused any of this. Okay, don’t want to get too sentimental here, but I could go on for hours about this song, as I am sure the rest of the band could too. I guess you could say, that this band for me is “rescue”, and this song makes that as tangible as possible.
Lyrical Notes:
At one time the title of this song was almost the name of our band. When we choose our name this became the working title for our first song. Through all of the versions of this song I always had the idea of this song being about the fall of man. Essentially this song is about man existing differently than he was intended. Many years ago I heard one of my favorite speakers talking about how essential the idea of creation is to the current plight of man. We were created by God to fulfill certain goals and have certain relationships but now, due to the fall of mankind and introduction of sin, we look in the wrong places. Mankind still yearns for this fulfillment and purpose but doesn’t know how or why. I wanted to point out that even though we inherited this condition from Adam we still choose to initiate it. We have become enslaved to our misguided attempts to fulfill ourselves and no work we can ever do can undo it. We were designed by God to be in a relationship with him and nothing else comes close. This is probably my favorite song lyrically and I can’t really take the credit. My favorite lines are definitely the “why is the architect…” portion which I wrote at 3:30 in the morning the day before we had to record them. The rest of the song was finished and I was wrestling with how to bridge the song so that it would completely convey my thoughts. After sitting at my kitchen table for over two hours I wrote down that whole part at once and went to bed. This is a pretty accurate representation of how this band works and why we give all the glory to God, even though sadly, I know to some it sounds trite and cliché.
The Making of a Recluse
I am the victim here; let’s keep that one thing clear. I’m the innocence that disappeared. I’m marking every offense, amassing evidence. Even skeptic eyes will give consent. I’ll cradle my fury and never let go till the reaping has come in degree to the sown. If this burden’s too heavy, I’ll bear it alone. Don’t call this revenge; this is justice. Its what I’m owed, owed. Walk with care. These dark paths, God forbid you should know. Fabricate a barricade to be sure that remorse won’t visit. I’ll be the haunting figure, the shadowed form, and what I choose to bind you’ll never loose. I’ll take everything from you. If mercy should come to save, I’ll state my case. You had this coming. There is no sacrifice too great. It’s worth everything to me. It’s worth everything!
Notes:
Aaron - This was the first thing we wrote after Travis joined the band and we got back from summer break. It definitely had our manager Jono worried that we were taking a harder direction. But the truth is I had written the ending riff long before Travis ever joined. When he came down last summer to try out in July I played the riff at the end and almost immediately he came up with his part. Jesse was there too and we knew it was what we wanted. Once again we had written the ending first. Travis and I wrote on it separately for the rest of the summer and when we came back together it was just a matter of piecing our ideas together in the context of the full band setting. In my mind this song has always been Jesse’s song; it was his favorite forever and he constantly wanted to play it. He’s so metal. We had long known this would be the heaviest song on the record and I had told Andrew I wanted it to be like a little monster that jumps the album, beats the crap out of it, and runs off before anyone knows what happens.
Travis- I can remember seeing Jono’s face when we played this song for him at practice one night. I think he was a little worried that we weren’t going in the right direction, but as it turned out, this was the heaviest song that my epic has written to date. We wanted it to hit hard and be intense. I think that’s one of the great things about this band: We are now at the point musically where we can choose the direction a song is going, rather than try to incorporate all the different elements we enjoy into a certain pattern. Once we decide the direction we want the music to be directed, it just seems to flow easily. This song is a perfect example.
Jesse- Although this song actually didn’t take long to write, it was definitely a long time coming for me. Sometimes I just wanted to throw down, and when my brother originally showed me some of the lines he was working on for this one I knew brutality was sure to ensue. When Travis joined (having been an ex-member of Aldora) I was eager to work on this song. I think we achieved writing a heavy song that showed a new side of My Epic, but that still fit nicely in the line up.
Jeremiah- As I mentioned earlier, we try to make every song independent from all the others, but we still keep a common element to them that keeps it “My Epic”. We don’t even know what that element is, but it comes out in every song, however I have a hunch as to what it could be. I think this song really shows that concept. It is definitely a different sound than our other songs, but I don’t believe it strays from who we are. I guess I could parallel this song to everyday life. People go day-to-day being who they are and doing what they do, but occasionally, something will come up and cause us to briefly deviate from our everyday activities. We could be the most peaceful of people, but sometimes, all that seems to express how we feel is just to let out a scream. It may simply be alone in the darkness of our rooms, or even inside of our hearts and never come out audibly, but we still let it out in some form. While this song is not meant to be an angry song by any means, it is simply a way for us to express ourselves and our passions in a way no other song seems to fulfill.
Lyrical Notes:
This song always sounded bitter to me, and not just cause it’s a bit heavier. I have run into a lot of people in the past few years that are just so bitter. Some event or person has taken advantage of them or left them out in the cold and they can’t move. They are like people whose attitudes are stuck in the past. Everything else has moved on but they can’t let go. Last fall I had a conversation with my good friend Tara. She was telling me her idea for a book someday and that it was going to be called “The Making of a Recluse”, it immediately struck a chord. As she continued talking I realized we weren’t talking about the exact same thing but it fit so well. So thanks to her and look for the book in a few years, It’ll be good, she’s quite smart. The rest of the song found its identity from the title. All of us need grace and forgiveness; and most of us need a lot of it. The thing about forgiveness is that if you don’t give it you can’t experience it. And when we don’t let go of things they take control of us. We think we are punishing someone by harboring anger but truly it comes to hold us and poison us. We accomplish nothing. The very forgiveness we so desire we wont give away to others. And the worst part is the longer time passes without reconciliation the more it eats away at us poisoning us until we are begging God for the justice we think we deserve. How contrary to the very concept of grace. In the end I wanted to portray this “God-complex” of justifying in our minds. We call it justice instead of revenge and build walls to keep ourselves from truly coming to grips with the hypocrisy of our actions. It is truly sad when anyone moves past grace to embrace justice thinking revenge will satiate them.
En Machaerus
I’m think I’m ready to go,
(Why am I left in this place?)
though I can’t grasp yet,
(Of all the miracles known…)
With all the power you hold,
(When did my diligence fade?)
isn’t this desertion?
These prison walls are far from golden streets and desert paths where kingdoms preached repentance’s call, but now you’ve ceased to speak in me the mysteries. Forgive the doubt of baffled eyes. I thought that you would save my life. I pray in chains but no reply. Could this be where the ending lies? If you can claim the skies and calm the seas, give sight to lifeless eyes, and set the captives free, I know that you can raise the dead to life and comfort me. If Heaven’s son can bear the weight of every shame and die for grace, then Abba, I, I too will find the courage not to sway beneath the blade. This will be the end of me, and I will see your glory.
Notes:
Aaron - This is definitely our favorite song; from the very moment we wrote it we knew it was. It was the last song we wrote for the album and began as several piano riffs I wrote while at home on Christmas break. Our mom has an upright piano at home and I always play it like crazy when I am on breaks and then Jesse would always remind me that we didn’t have the equipment to pull it off. So in January I bought a piano. I took my piano parts to our first practice after Christmas break and most of the song just came out because we had already all talked about how we wanted the song to sound. Travis’ guitar lines were far beyond what I was imagining and Jeremiah just sort of invented his bass lines almost out of thin air. It was one of those songs that sort of created by resting in our ears and leading us to recreate what we hearing. The minute we finished it we played it again, and again, and again. Andrew also immediately identified it as his favorite in preproduction and said he planned to fight us in studio over this song especially. Originally I had intended the beginning to be much the way it is but somewhere during practices it had become call and response. Andrew said it sounded like “Rod Stewart”, he was right, we changed it back, and it made the lyrics work even better. This song also spawned our largest, and, truth be told, only real disagreement in studio. It wasn’t a fight, no voices were raised. Once the music had been completed it really hit us as to how huge this song was and how it had actually surpassed any expectations we had for it. So as a group the rest of the band came into my room where I was struggling over the lyrics and told me they didn’t think the ending should have any vocals. They were very passionate as was I. I had never imagined it that way and couldn’t hear what that would be like. They left me to think about it and as I prayed about it I knew I couldn’t go against everyone else and the more I listened to it I began to agree. I simply sped up the progression lyrically and quickened the crescendo of my vocal intensity. Everybody else was right and proved once again why being in a band is such a beautiful thing, the hive mind is amazing. When I say we love this song I mean that in a totally non-bragging sense. We still get chill bumps over this song and have no idea how it came out of us. Thank you God.
Travis- I am honestly humbled at how this song turned out. I know it was something none of us expected, but this is really a song that God gave us. There’s no easier way to explain it. My first recollection of the beginning is when Aaron came up with the idea of having the two vocal lines in the beginning of the song and had written some of the melodies on keyboard and showed them to us in practice one night. From what I remember, everyone’s parts just seemed to flow easily. I came up with most of my parts right on the spot, so did Jesse and Jeremiah. My soaring line on the end was also something that just kind of came out of nowhere. Aaron said that he wanted to have a really epic sound at the end and told me just to play around with his idea. I came up with what you hear on the CD almost instantly. Trust me, I’m not that good. I am so proud of the lyrics on this song and its portrayal of John the Baptists. Aaron crafted them with “the greatest precision.” I don’t know how we could end any live show with any other song as of now. This really gives us the freedom to worship and get lost with the music. I always close my eyes and think of heaven at the end. That’s really all I can say because I’m horrible at explaining my emotions and how these songs are enriched with the truth. All I can say is, they are. They are directly inspired by what God has placed on our hearts and the talents He has given us. I often listen to what I’ve been apart of and find conviction, hope, and love sewn through the melodies and words.
Jesse- This song has been in the works for a while; Aaron and I had been messing with the beginning riff for some time. But once we all sat down to write it together it just happened. This song is definitely what I feel to be our most intense and experimental. I think Aaron was right about the chills…I am just so thankful that God allowed us to write a song in which I can worship him so intimately. The building of the music and the crescendo at the end just seem to lead me write into God’s presence, and likewise I hope this song will touch others in this manner.
Jeremiah- I almost feel vain thinking words could even come close to describing this song. This was truly God. Everything just fell into place, not one of us could look at this song and claim anything. We love how beautiful it is, we feel it defines epic, which is rather appropriate. The way the lyrics fit this song is another thing we cannot claim. After we wrote it, we looked back and are finding new ways, almost daily, of how this song is impacting, moving, and growing us spiritually, all we can do is thank and praise God. This song, to me, is like that outfit that just seems to fit perfect, shows all your best features, and fits all occasions. Again, thank you God.
Lyrical Notes:
When we first wrote the actual song I had always begun and ended with the words “I think I’m ready to go”. I don’t know why it just came out and from the first time I said it I thought of John the Baptizer from the Bible. For some time I have found John the Baptizer to be one of the most intriguing characters in the Bible and his story has continued to haunt me, especially this past year. The actual concept for this song began to emerge after I read the book “The Barbarian Way” by Erwin McManus and also out of several conversations with my parents over a book my Mom had read called “The Prisoner in the Third Cell”. John was the forerunner who was given the task of proclaiming the coming of the Messiah. He knew from a very young age what he was called to do and dedicated his whole life completely to fulfilling his call. He was obsessed with pleasing God, the repentance of the people, and the savior that was to come. Jesus would later even say that John was the most faithful man who had ever lived. He began his ministry at a very young age and one would think that as soon as this messiah appeared he would stand by his side and be rewarded for his faithfulness. Yet shortly after Christ’s actual appearance he was thrown in jail to await his own death. He had spoke out truthfully rebuking the current king for taking his brothers wife as his own. And so rotting in Jail he sent word to his king, his savior “Are you the one or shall we look for someone else”? In context this question makes no sense. John had seen Christ do miracles, received a personal sign from God making it clear, and even heard the audible voice of God verify this fact, so why ask the question? The real question was this; “if you can do all that why am I still in jail?” If I have been so faithful and you are so powerful why am I here? He couldn’t make sense of it. And Jesus’ words back were piercing, broken, and hard to swallow. He told the messengers to tell John that he had indeed done many great miracles and that the truth of God’s grace and forgiveness was being proclaimed but that John would be blessed if he did not take offense at Christ. Essentially what John was being told was; “I love you John. You have done nothing wrong. But I’m not coming to get you. This is my will for you and you will be blessed if you can understand it”. It struck me at how Americanized and spiritualized the Christian faith has often become. Persecution, suffering, and sickness do not mean we have done something wrong often times that’s exactly where God wants. We beg for God to take away the storm when he is the very one who sent it. If every grandma whose health we prayed for got better no one would ever die. Brevity brings relevance. This whole life is part of the process of God molding us. We all have to learn to trust God no matter what. If God did not spare his own perfect innocent son from the most unspeakable of horrors, why should we expect any better? We must remember that God turned this most heinous act into the greatest act of love of all time. If he can do that what makes me think I know better than him. Even if he takes my best friends dad away at 19 or allows a 5 year old to drown at a church picnic. Trust means nothing when things are good; it only matters when things are hard. John came to this conclusion and died faithful. I God is worth following than he is worth following no matter.
I’ve heard rumors there is more, that if we venture to the source, it will phantom every meager thing to which our hearts are sworn. And they say, “shelter’s in the fold” and, ”there’s risk in chasing after truth,” but those souls are cynics if they claim that we have much to lose. This is all just sound and fury, product and sum of faulty yearning. The Harlot life, i hold closely, a senseless refrain of lust and longing. And I have only ever known the shadows and reflections, the temporal and contingent. If this isn’t love, it’s the closest thing that I have ever known. Am I to let go?
Even if it’s false, at least it feels like hope. Could love be more than feeling
And second-hand romance I salvage from hearts as dark and damaged…? Could it be someone who gave up everything to show that I am fallen but worth the scars it took to prove that this is love? This is all I’ll ever need.
This is Love. Oh, This is Love.
Notes –
Aaron -This song was the second brand new song we wrote after Travis joined the band in the fall. I always thought of it as being similar in structure and sound to The Antidote, short, catchy, riffy, and thick. Travis had already written the three-chord-riff in the beginning and the end as well as the long reverby riff build at the end. I had already written the hammer on riff that I play at the very end and that was actually the first part we wrote. Once Jesse busted out the beat for that part we were all like “Well, that’s the end of the song”. The rest of the song kinda flowed out of that. We quite often begin with the end of the song; we write the most massive intense thing we can and then find a way to get to it, like a maze. I wrote the piano part, Jesse and Jeremiah timed out the wash-out in the middle, and we all just kept tweaking it till it felt finished.
Travis- This song has always been one of my favorite ones to play live because it gives me a chance to go a little nuts and get lost in the music. We’ve always used it as a show opener and even called it that before there was a name for it. The beginning and ending riff was one that I came up with after deciding to part ways with the previous band I was in before My Epic asked me to join. It really just kind of flowed out on the guitar just as I heard it in my head. Rarely does that happen for me. I wanted it to flow gracefully and be in a major scale. Once I showed it to the guys, Aaron immediately took to it and came up with some really sweet pull offs and riffs that took what I had to the next level. Everyone just took what I gave them and ran with it and the finished product couldn’t have turned out any better, even if we tried.
Jesse- Well this song was kinda spurred on, as I remember it, from the beginning three-chord-riff Travis wrote. Travis said he wanted drums to be complex and progressive at the begging and we went from there. Aaron came up with a bunch of lines, and I just laid the drums to match. I definitely think it is the most radio friendly song on the new album, you can really see a wide spectrum of our different influences throughout the song. My roommate refers to it as the “make-out song”, because of the piano and three part vocals(“This Is Love”). He swears he saw a couple making out during it at a show but he is a filthy liar so who knows? But speaking of the three part vocals, that was a new element we embraced whole-heartedly when Travis joined…I like it!
Jeremiah- I think we try to make every song a good bit different from all the others, which is why we have such varying lengths of songs. While I really love long builds and almost jam-like sessions in the middle of songs, I appreciate the beauty of a song that just hits you right from the beginning, it doesn’t wait around, it simply gets to the point and ends, simple and clean. I love the way this songs fits so well to the lyrical content. We did not want to beat around the bush with this song, and I don’t believe we did.
Lyrical Notes –
This song was actually one that began lyrically in the spring of 2005. I was going to be speaking to a youth group in Greenville South Carolina and I was thinking a lot about what it means when we say “God loves you”. That term is repeated over and over again by the lips of the average church-goer but what does it mean for the rest of us. God loves me? What a weird thought. Love is a word that carries such different connotations for so many different people. It is an action and thus we all base our understanding of it on our experiences with it. What does love mean for the recently heartbroken, the unrequited lover, the abused child, or the betrayed friend? When these people hear that “God loves you” it isn’t exactly the huge selling point so many Christians believe it to be. Some think, “ I have experienced love and I have no desire to be hurt by it again”. But the important thing I wanted to portray with this song is that God’s love is not comparable to man’s love. God’s love is perfect, unfailing, and unconditional. We were not created to exist apart from it and without it man spends his life searching for the elusive joy that he has romanticized into his youth. For many people, they get married, have kids, and then assume this must be it. But God’s love for us is so much more expansive. We cannot expect to find the love we need in people just as messed up as we are. The title is an allusion to Plato’s allegory of the cave (click here for more info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plato%27s_allegory_of_the_cave ). The basic point of the song is that we have only experienced the shadows of God’s love through the lives of others and that it cannot even compare to the way God love’s us.
…And We Were So Close to Perfection
Don’t they see the sky burning and claiming every hope? Can’t they feel the earth breaking and scattering the fold? This act surely is past the scope of clemency and any shroud of mystery. Lets return now; say the word and we’ll retreat to better scenes. Coastlines and mountainsides, perfection dripping from the seams. How could miracles reveal the mysteries and end in tragedy? Don’t let them boast. They’ll claim the victory if you give up the ghost. I stand awaiting the call for the rescue. One word and empires fall. You’re calculating the point for your next move, but this is taking too long. Has courage fled for newer brides, and traded truth for alibis, that I alone of dozen strong should witness your demise? Before your mothers eyes,
whisper “relief.” I know you have the power! Is this the way it’s supposed to be, the shepherd slain by all the sheep? They’re cursing your name. You’re fading away. When will the empire fall? They spit in your face. It’s more than I can take. Is this the end of it all? Don’t touch him; this man has done nothing wrong.
Notes:
Aaron – This song really went through three distinct phases. This was actually the last song we finished writing before we went into the studio to record our first demo in 2005. Jesse and I wanted to record it right then but as usual Jeremiah talked some sense into us and the song really developed further. When Travis Joined he wrote his own parts to the song, the actual structure was never changed but when we went back to a 4–piece I think the song really got stronger as we eliminated the fat and choose the best of what Matt and Travis had previously played. The third one came after we had finished recording all the instruments and went in to lay the vocals. Andrew, our producer, thought my melody on the chorus was anticlimactic and that it was too cliché for our sound. He begged us not to give up on it now after we had worked so hard on the rest of the album and this song in particular. We wrestled with it and it was actually the last thing we worked on in studio together. Travis immediately had the idea for the high vocals and we actually laid those first. Andrew came up with the basic melody for the first chorus, which I modified a bit, and Jesse had the idea and melody for the sort of gang vocal part. The different melody on the second chorus was something that kind of came out of thin air, I just thought we should do something a little different and what you hear is what came out. I worked hard to finish the lyrics in studio but since the rest of the song was already written it didn’t take too long. That being said this song is the reason we had to spend an extra day in studio but I think it was well worth it. The ending is basically our version of a breakdown in three-four, let’s see all the hardcore kids two-step in waltz. Thanks also to Kent for begging us to lengthen the build near the end, good call. This song was a real team effort.
Travis- This song was already pieced together before I joined the band and out of all the songs on the album, this was the one that I thought was changed the least by me. However, the more we played it in practice, the more I fell in love with it. Every time Aaron sings the last lyrics of the song, it almost always brings me to tears because I can hear the agony that Jesus’ followers felt at his last few hours. I tried to tastefully add parts that would intertwine with the rest of the music and add detail to what was already there. I have to say, there is nothing that I’ve played musically that has more heart and intensity than the ¾ waltz at the end of the song. The ending swell was an idea that I had and a “Travis Signature” as Aaron would say. As the song progresses in intensity and crescendos, I wanted to have something subtle that would reflect on what is happening at that moment, much like when you see an intense battle scene in a movie and everything slows down and becomes silent. This song shows My Epic at our potential and gives a glimpse into our hearts as believers, as musicians, and as friends.
Jesse- This song has been a process over the last year. We originally wrote it with Matt, and the first time we played it we sucked it up bad!!! But this song has seen a lot of growth, and when Matt left we were left with the dilemma of three guitar parts and two guitars. So then we went back to work dropping a line here, add a new one there, and of course, some new vocals. It even saw some last minute changes in studio, which I absolutely fell in love with. I really like the way this one turned out; I feel this song just gets better with age.
Jeremiah- This song was a particularly encouraging song to me. My Epic has never written a song I have been disappointed in by any means, but naturally, some songs will impact you differently than others. The direction this went right after we had written “The Antidote” and “Wise as Serpents” is exactly where I was hoping it would go. The flow of the song is easy to get lost in, but in a good way. When we play its easy to go to another place and almost forget that I am even playing, which is what I like every song to do. One thing I believe is that anyone who ever sees us live will leave knowing that our music is truly worship for us and playing live is one of the best times of worship we can experience, and this song is almost like my poster child worship song. This may fit into the lyrical content part, but in the end when Aaron sings “don’t touch him”, it is one of the most intense parts for me and I just lose it inside. I have to admit, at first, I was not too keen on the three-four part in the end, but now I would die to keep it in, it is the perfect release of everything built up inside of me throughout the whole song, I just hope others could have the same experience.
Lyrical Notes:
The concept for this song was another one that hit me almost immediately after we had finished writing the song structurally. The sound-scape just screamed intensity to me and I imagined John, the only disciple to watch Christ die, standing at the cross remembering all that had led to this event and not being able to understand what was going on. I wanted there to be a brokenness and desperation in his words as he cannot fathom how this man who had displayed such great power could allow it to end this way. The disciples never really understood all that Jesus had told them concerning his death and resurrection until after the fact and often when I read John’s account of the crucifixion I see him trying to convey how earth shattering it must have been. “All I have invested myself in is crashing down”. Most of us have experienced this in some other facet of our lives but the beauty of the cross is that this was far from the end of the story.
The Common Curse
The fragile details from which I am made are falling apart and starting to fade, and this is the curse I’ll carry from birth till the grave. From one came all. Democracy of the dead, chained to the consequence of lives we never lived. But we hold blame. Inherit, but we as well choose to initiate, and this is the price of our valued volition: enslavement to vices and vexed by the intrinsic, no measure of man with the greatest precision is yet to conquer. This is the curse I fight when I’m awake but treasure in my dreams. Why is the architect now becoming part of the structure and how could this be any solution when they’re resisting every attempt at repair? They’re killing him. This is Rescue, this is Absolution, this is Mercy, this is our Redemption.
Notes:
Aaron - This song is actually like the fifth evolution of the very first thing we had written as My Epic. The first four sections, including the first heavier section, is actually verbatim what came out of the first few writing sessions between Matt, Jesse, and I. It is also the same parts we auditioned Jeremiah on, before we even had a name, Old School. We wrestled and wrestled with it and avoided playing it because it never felt finished until Travis joined. Travis was fiddling with a reverse delay concept and Jesse and I had been listening to a lot of the newer Hillsong United Live album and really wanted the song to end with a really passionate but simple worshipy chant. Though many of you may have never experienced “worship” per se there is still something beautiful about a lot of people all directing their complete intense devotion towards one thing at the same time. For a long time we were singing “hallelujah’s” over the ending as I wrestled over a list of concepts and words to accurately finalize this song. Our friend Kent came to practice one day and helped with the phrasing a bit and once I wrote the line “This is Rescue” I knew it was going to be a significant statement for us as a band. It was actually the first and only idea we ever had for the title of our e.p. This song I think suffered the most when Matt left and we went back to a four piece but eventually we worked out the kinks. This is one of our favorites to play live because the ending always catches people off-guard and turns the smokiest of bars into sacred ground, if only for a few moments. No matter what it is always a very genuine and vulnerable moment for us as a band and we hope it conveys our hearts. We know that if every other piece of equipment undergoes a technical snafu that this part will still sound the way we intend. There is something indescribable about losing yourself in the moment and signing your lungs out.
Travis- - I think it’s hard for me to put down in words a note about this song that would do it justice. This was the only song out of all the ones on the CD that already had a name before I joined the band. When we started practicing in August of last year, I was trying to be creative and add some stuff to this song that would enhance what was already there, yet still keep it structured and musically provoking. When writing, we struggled with the reverse delay riff for fear of not being able to pull it off live the way I had originally wrote it. With a few modifications, it turned out the way you hear it in the finished product. I think we couldn’t be happier with the way the lyrics turned out. Aaron has told me before that he always loves hearing me get lost in the song when he can hear me singing from the top of my lungs during the “this is the curse…” line, and yes, I love it.
Jesse- As Aaron said, this song is Old School. It was the first thing Aaron, Matt, and I worked on after Shaddai broke up. The song you hear today is quite different then its original emersion. We actually played the original version at our first show with Forever Changed, along with the two songs off our first demo. We knew then that it wasn’t on par with the other stuff we were writing, so we decided not to record it, and then it seemed to get lost in all the new songs we were cranking out. When Travis joined he heard us jamming on parts of it, and asked what it was. So we played it for him, and revived it. We totally dissected the song adding new parts and removing anything we didn’t love. Again came the triple vocals, and this time even Jeremiah decided to join in. The first time we played the chant part at the end all of us just sat there for a minute so caught up in worship. This part still pricks my heart to this day, every time we play it the hair on my neck stands up. It just communicates so well the purpose and drive of every member of this band, and at that moment we all leave our separate entities and become one voice pouring ourselves out before our Creator.
Jeremiah- Wow, it is hard to believe how long this song has been around really. I remember how scared I was thinking “I can’t keep up with these guys” when they asked me to come start trying stuff out. I was in a band before My Epic, a high school band that stretched ourselves as far as to the point of three or four-chord progressions, and that’s it. I had no clue anything about the bass when I started in this band. I was talking to Aaron the other night and telling him how being in this band has grown my faith in an incredible way, mainly because of the incredible story of how we came together, but also because I can honestly say there is no way my talent has helped the band whatsoever, it could only be God that could have caused any of this. Okay, don’t want to get too sentimental here, but I could go on for hours about this song, as I am sure the rest of the band could too. I guess you could say, that this band for me is “rescue”, and this song makes that as tangible as possible.
Lyrical Notes:
At one time the title of this song was almost the name of our band. When we choose our name this became the working title for our first song. Through all of the versions of this song I always had the idea of this song being about the fall of man. Essentially this song is about man existing differently than he was intended. Many years ago I heard one of my favorite speakers talking about how essential the idea of creation is to the current plight of man. We were created by God to fulfill certain goals and have certain relationships but now, due to the fall of mankind and introduction of sin, we look in the wrong places. Mankind still yearns for this fulfillment and purpose but doesn’t know how or why. I wanted to point out that even though we inherited this condition from Adam we still choose to initiate it. We have become enslaved to our misguided attempts to fulfill ourselves and no work we can ever do can undo it. We were designed by God to be in a relationship with him and nothing else comes close. This is probably my favorite song lyrically and I can’t really take the credit. My favorite lines are definitely the “why is the architect…” portion which I wrote at 3:30 in the morning the day before we had to record them. The rest of the song was finished and I was wrestling with how to bridge the song so that it would completely convey my thoughts. After sitting at my kitchen table for over two hours I wrote down that whole part at once and went to bed. This is a pretty accurate representation of how this band works and why we give all the glory to God, even though sadly, I know to some it sounds trite and cliché.
The Making of a Recluse
I am the victim here; let’s keep that one thing clear. I’m the innocence that disappeared. I’m marking every offense, amassing evidence. Even skeptic eyes will give consent. I’ll cradle my fury and never let go till the reaping has come in degree to the sown. If this burden’s too heavy, I’ll bear it alone. Don’t call this revenge; this is justice. Its what I’m owed, owed. Walk with care. These dark paths, God forbid you should know. Fabricate a barricade to be sure that remorse won’t visit. I’ll be the haunting figure, the shadowed form, and what I choose to bind you’ll never loose. I’ll take everything from you. If mercy should come to save, I’ll state my case. You had this coming. There is no sacrifice too great. It’s worth everything to me. It’s worth everything!
Notes:
Aaron - This was the first thing we wrote after Travis joined the band and we got back from summer break. It definitely had our manager Jono worried that we were taking a harder direction. But the truth is I had written the ending riff long before Travis ever joined. When he came down last summer to try out in July I played the riff at the end and almost immediately he came up with his part. Jesse was there too and we knew it was what we wanted. Once again we had written the ending first. Travis and I wrote on it separately for the rest of the summer and when we came back together it was just a matter of piecing our ideas together in the context of the full band setting. In my mind this song has always been Jesse’s song; it was his favorite forever and he constantly wanted to play it. He’s so metal. We had long known this would be the heaviest song on the record and I had told Andrew I wanted it to be like a little monster that jumps the album, beats the crap out of it, and runs off before anyone knows what happens.
Travis- I can remember seeing Jono’s face when we played this song for him at practice one night. I think he was a little worried that we weren’t going in the right direction, but as it turned out, this was the heaviest song that my epic has written to date. We wanted it to hit hard and be intense. I think that’s one of the great things about this band: We are now at the point musically where we can choose the direction a song is going, rather than try to incorporate all the different elements we enjoy into a certain pattern. Once we decide the direction we want the music to be directed, it just seems to flow easily. This song is a perfect example.
Jesse- Although this song actually didn’t take long to write, it was definitely a long time coming for me. Sometimes I just wanted to throw down, and when my brother originally showed me some of the lines he was working on for this one I knew brutality was sure to ensue. When Travis joined (having been an ex-member of Aldora) I was eager to work on this song. I think we achieved writing a heavy song that showed a new side of My Epic, but that still fit nicely in the line up.
Jeremiah- As I mentioned earlier, we try to make every song independent from all the others, but we still keep a common element to them that keeps it “My Epic”. We don’t even know what that element is, but it comes out in every song, however I have a hunch as to what it could be. I think this song really shows that concept. It is definitely a different sound than our other songs, but I don’t believe it strays from who we are. I guess I could parallel this song to everyday life. People go day-to-day being who they are and doing what they do, but occasionally, something will come up and cause us to briefly deviate from our everyday activities. We could be the most peaceful of people, but sometimes, all that seems to express how we feel is just to let out a scream. It may simply be alone in the darkness of our rooms, or even inside of our hearts and never come out audibly, but we still let it out in some form. While this song is not meant to be an angry song by any means, it is simply a way for us to express ourselves and our passions in a way no other song seems to fulfill.
Lyrical Notes:
This song always sounded bitter to me, and not just cause it’s a bit heavier. I have run into a lot of people in the past few years that are just so bitter. Some event or person has taken advantage of them or left them out in the cold and they can’t move. They are like people whose attitudes are stuck in the past. Everything else has moved on but they can’t let go. Last fall I had a conversation with my good friend Tara. She was telling me her idea for a book someday and that it was going to be called “The Making of a Recluse”, it immediately struck a chord. As she continued talking I realized we weren’t talking about the exact same thing but it fit so well. So thanks to her and look for the book in a few years, It’ll be good, she’s quite smart. The rest of the song found its identity from the title. All of us need grace and forgiveness; and most of us need a lot of it. The thing about forgiveness is that if you don’t give it you can’t experience it. And when we don’t let go of things they take control of us. We think we are punishing someone by harboring anger but truly it comes to hold us and poison us. We accomplish nothing. The very forgiveness we so desire we wont give away to others. And the worst part is the longer time passes without reconciliation the more it eats away at us poisoning us until we are begging God for the justice we think we deserve. How contrary to the very concept of grace. In the end I wanted to portray this “God-complex” of justifying in our minds. We call it justice instead of revenge and build walls to keep ourselves from truly coming to grips with the hypocrisy of our actions. It is truly sad when anyone moves past grace to embrace justice thinking revenge will satiate them.
En Machaerus
I’m think I’m ready to go,
(Why am I left in this place?)
though I can’t grasp yet,
(Of all the miracles known…)
With all the power you hold,
(When did my diligence fade?)
isn’t this desertion?
These prison walls are far from golden streets and desert paths where kingdoms preached repentance’s call, but now you’ve ceased to speak in me the mysteries. Forgive the doubt of baffled eyes. I thought that you would save my life. I pray in chains but no reply. Could this be where the ending lies? If you can claim the skies and calm the seas, give sight to lifeless eyes, and set the captives free, I know that you can raise the dead to life and comfort me. If Heaven’s son can bear the weight of every shame and die for grace, then Abba, I, I too will find the courage not to sway beneath the blade. This will be the end of me, and I will see your glory.
Notes:
Aaron - This is definitely our favorite song; from the very moment we wrote it we knew it was. It was the last song we wrote for the album and began as several piano riffs I wrote while at home on Christmas break. Our mom has an upright piano at home and I always play it like crazy when I am on breaks and then Jesse would always remind me that we didn’t have the equipment to pull it off. So in January I bought a piano. I took my piano parts to our first practice after Christmas break and most of the song just came out because we had already all talked about how we wanted the song to sound. Travis’ guitar lines were far beyond what I was imagining and Jeremiah just sort of invented his bass lines almost out of thin air. It was one of those songs that sort of created by resting in our ears and leading us to recreate what we hearing. The minute we finished it we played it again, and again, and again. Andrew also immediately identified it as his favorite in preproduction and said he planned to fight us in studio over this song especially. Originally I had intended the beginning to be much the way it is but somewhere during practices it had become call and response. Andrew said it sounded like “Rod Stewart”, he was right, we changed it back, and it made the lyrics work even better. This song also spawned our largest, and, truth be told, only real disagreement in studio. It wasn’t a fight, no voices were raised. Once the music had been completed it really hit us as to how huge this song was and how it had actually surpassed any expectations we had for it. So as a group the rest of the band came into my room where I was struggling over the lyrics and told me they didn’t think the ending should have any vocals. They were very passionate as was I. I had never imagined it that way and couldn’t hear what that would be like. They left me to think about it and as I prayed about it I knew I couldn’t go against everyone else and the more I listened to it I began to agree. I simply sped up the progression lyrically and quickened the crescendo of my vocal intensity. Everybody else was right and proved once again why being in a band is such a beautiful thing, the hive mind is amazing. When I say we love this song I mean that in a totally non-bragging sense. We still get chill bumps over this song and have no idea how it came out of us. Thank you God.
Travis- I am honestly humbled at how this song turned out. I know it was something none of us expected, but this is really a song that God gave us. There’s no easier way to explain it. My first recollection of the beginning is when Aaron came up with the idea of having the two vocal lines in the beginning of the song and had written some of the melodies on keyboard and showed them to us in practice one night. From what I remember, everyone’s parts just seemed to flow easily. I came up with most of my parts right on the spot, so did Jesse and Jeremiah. My soaring line on the end was also something that just kind of came out of nowhere. Aaron said that he wanted to have a really epic sound at the end and told me just to play around with his idea. I came up with what you hear on the CD almost instantly. Trust me, I’m not that good. I am so proud of the lyrics on this song and its portrayal of John the Baptists. Aaron crafted them with “the greatest precision.” I don’t know how we could end any live show with any other song as of now. This really gives us the freedom to worship and get lost with the music. I always close my eyes and think of heaven at the end. That’s really all I can say because I’m horrible at explaining my emotions and how these songs are enriched with the truth. All I can say is, they are. They are directly inspired by what God has placed on our hearts and the talents He has given us. I often listen to what I’ve been apart of and find conviction, hope, and love sewn through the melodies and words.
Jesse- This song has been in the works for a while; Aaron and I had been messing with the beginning riff for some time. But once we all sat down to write it together it just happened. This song is definitely what I feel to be our most intense and experimental. I think Aaron was right about the chills…I am just so thankful that God allowed us to write a song in which I can worship him so intimately. The building of the music and the crescendo at the end just seem to lead me write into God’s presence, and likewise I hope this song will touch others in this manner.
Jeremiah- I almost feel vain thinking words could even come close to describing this song. This was truly God. Everything just fell into place, not one of us could look at this song and claim anything. We love how beautiful it is, we feel it defines epic, which is rather appropriate. The way the lyrics fit this song is another thing we cannot claim. After we wrote it, we looked back and are finding new ways, almost daily, of how this song is impacting, moving, and growing us spiritually, all we can do is thank and praise God. This song, to me, is like that outfit that just seems to fit perfect, shows all your best features, and fits all occasions. Again, thank you God.
Lyrical Notes:
When we first wrote the actual song I had always begun and ended with the words “I think I’m ready to go”. I don’t know why it just came out and from the first time I said it I thought of John the Baptizer from the Bible. For some time I have found John the Baptizer to be one of the most intriguing characters in the Bible and his story has continued to haunt me, especially this past year. The actual concept for this song began to emerge after I read the book “The Barbarian Way” by Erwin McManus and also out of several conversations with my parents over a book my Mom had read called “The Prisoner in the Third Cell”. John was the forerunner who was given the task of proclaiming the coming of the Messiah. He knew from a very young age what he was called to do and dedicated his whole life completely to fulfilling his call. He was obsessed with pleasing God, the repentance of the people, and the savior that was to come. Jesus would later even say that John was the most faithful man who had ever lived. He began his ministry at a very young age and one would think that as soon as this messiah appeared he would stand by his side and be rewarded for his faithfulness. Yet shortly after Christ’s actual appearance he was thrown in jail to await his own death. He had spoke out truthfully rebuking the current king for taking his brothers wife as his own. And so rotting in Jail he sent word to his king, his savior “Are you the one or shall we look for someone else”? In context this question makes no sense. John had seen Christ do miracles, received a personal sign from God making it clear, and even heard the audible voice of God verify this fact, so why ask the question? The real question was this; “if you can do all that why am I still in jail?” If I have been so faithful and you are so powerful why am I here? He couldn’t make sense of it. And Jesus’ words back were piercing, broken, and hard to swallow. He told the messengers to tell John that he had indeed done many great miracles and that the truth of God’s grace and forgiveness was being proclaimed but that John would be blessed if he did not take offense at Christ. Essentially what John was being told was; “I love you John. You have done nothing wrong. But I’m not coming to get you. This is my will for you and you will be blessed if you can understand it”. It struck me at how Americanized and spiritualized the Christian faith has often become. Persecution, suffering, and sickness do not mean we have done something wrong often times that’s exactly where God wants. We beg for God to take away the storm when he is the very one who sent it. If every grandma whose health we prayed for got better no one would ever die. Brevity brings relevance. This whole life is part of the process of God molding us. We all have to learn to trust God no matter what. If God did not spare his own perfect innocent son from the most unspeakable of horrors, why should we expect any better? We must remember that God turned this most heinous act into the greatest act of love of all time. If he can do that what makes me think I know better than him. Even if he takes my best friends dad away at 19 or allows a 5 year old to drown at a church picnic. Trust means nothing when things are good; it only matters when things are hard. John came to this conclusion and died faithful. I God is worth following than he is worth following no matter.
posted by My Epic at 1:01 PM
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